The Neuroscience of Letting Go

Do you find yourself ruminating and obsessing about the past? About opportunities that slipped away, difficult relationships, the could have, should have, would have situations? All of the things you believed would have made you happier. You just can’t let go! You remain stuck in the emotions of that time, replaying past hurtful experiences, guilt, shame, and the feeling of loss. Letting go can be difficult but with intentional effort letting go will create space for something new, improve your health, and happiness.

The challenge is that the brain functions in memory patterns. It saves all of our experiences - good and bad - to predict the future and to keep us alive. It is a survival mechanism. In addition, any experiences that have strong connections to our emotions are more manifested in multiple brain areas. That's why Letting Go is so hard. The good news, the brain is neuroplastic- it can change its actual physical structure and the way it operates by creating new neural connections. Letting Go opens up for new learning and creating new memories.

How to Let Go:

Strategy #1 Awareness And Reframing of Limiting Beliefs

We limit our potential if we believe that what we experienced was the only choice we had or the only time we would get this chance. We should ask ourselves if that is really true. Often times the answer is no. There are more likely other options, other opportunities that may not be exactly the same but similar. Look at the things you learned from your experience and let go of the rest. Time to move on.

Strategy #2 The Past Is Done

The truth is, the past is done. No amount of thinking about it, energy spent, or emotions invested in it will change that fact. We can't change what happened but we can change how we react to it. Let go of the feeling of disappointment, sadness, struggle and reframe it to learning experiences. Grow from it.

Strategy #3 Identity

Your past is not your identity. The past is part of you but it is not who you are. Experiences happen but our identity is as much created by the presences and future. Think about your future self. How do you want to be? What do you want to be seen? Then start living into your future you by starting to act that way today. 

If you are interested in more science-based self-development and self-growth check out the NeuroHP Group Coaching or 1x1 Coaching